How To Stop Complaining About Life And Start Living Happily!
Our complaints about life are kind of mini-therapy. When there is no opportunity (or desire) to change the situation, moaning becomes an easy way for a person to throw out his dissatisfaction with the outside world on others. Thus, the eternal complainant pours a poisonous negative outward, reducing his concentration within himself. Professional whiners go even further. They so skillfully describe the endless problems that they seek sympathy and help from their neighbors. However, it does not make them any easier. Negative aura tends to attract misfortunes, so the only sure way to start living happily is to stop complaining.
Why pity yourself is bad
Before you start to get rid of the habit of whining for any reason, you need to create high-quality motivation. Let’s see what cons lurk behind this seemingly harmless habit:
- Next, to the eternal whiner, people feel uncomfortable, so they try to communicate less with him in life. Gradually, he remains either in the company of his own kind, individuals who love to complain, or alone.
- Constant concentration on the negative points drives a person into depression. Emotional degradation occurs when he stops experiencing the joy of life and positive emotions.
- To constantly whine, you need time that could be spent more constructively.
As a result, such people only reinforce the vicious circle of problems that others later complain about. The destructive effect of this addiction has been noticed for a long time, therefore despondency in Orthodoxy is considered a mortal sin. And “whining” and “despondency” are words of the same root. Having ceased to constantly “cry into the waistcoat”, you will begin to change the script of your life for the better.
We are aware of the origins
If you give yourself a vow to stop complaining on Monday, such an enterprise is unlikely to be successful. It is not so easy to destroy an entrenched installation, besides, there are reasons why a person subconsciously does not want to abandon it.
For example, because whining brings together. Starting a conversation with a description of our problem, we quickly find a response from the interlocutor. Emotional complaints help relieve stress and guilt, and at the same time shift it to her husband, neighbor, boss … the whole world.
Complaining, we turn into a small child who cries and runs to his mother when he hurts. Nytya is an act not of an adult, but of an infantile sub-personality hidden in him, who complains when she feels bad and uncomfortable. In order to get the necessary portion of warmth and caress in the subconscious mind, a model of behavior works that have become fixed in childhood. Sometimes such thinking algorithms are passed down from generation to generation, absorbed with mother’s milk.
Perhaps it is time to change the negative program of life to a positive perception? Try to understand the deep roots of complaints and honestly admit to yourself. This will be a good motivation to start living in a new way.
How to stop complaining about life: practical steps
We offer a program that will help stop complaining about the hardships of life.
1. Observation
The initial stage is to mentally track all the episodes when you start to whine and grumble at fate. Your internal observer should record all oops and ahs. After a week of self-control, evaluate the neglect of your case. If you complain daily (or more often), then it’s time to get rid of the whiner syndrome. Observational tactics help to open your eyes to the true state of affairs. If in the end, you say to yourself: “After all, I only do that to Noah!” – This is already a positive result.
2. Change the way of thinking
This is definitely easier said than done. Our brains are naturally more negative. As in the above quote, we are first bothered by the thorns in the rosebush, and not by their beautiful view.
When you find yourself saying a negative comment about something or someone, stop! Force yourself to say something positive. Of course, not once or twice you forget. Do not be discouraged, just keep trying again and again. Enlist the support of a cheerful friend to stop you when you complain and help you see the situation from an independent perspective.
3. Become less judgmental.
We often blame others because they do not meet our standards. Once you know the real stories of people, you will less moan about what they do. For example, complaining about the service in a restaurant is useless. You don’t know what a busy day the waiter has, or what problems he has in his personal life. If you put yourself in his place for a minute, you will become kinder and relax in the situation.
4. Add constructivism
Hard negative and condemnation try to paraphrase into a calmer, narrative speech. Not a hint of humor.
5. We listen to the complaints of others and do the opposite.
Having achieved some success in contemplating what is happening; apply these skills not to yourself, but to others. In other words, watch now how others complain. You will see how many such people in any team. They not only complicate their lives but also provoke others to such reactions. Hearing another nagging employee about her husband (child, health, weather), do not respond with a counter complaint. Just say: “But today I have a great mood and the world seems to be better!”
6. We make life-affirming lists
Take this step seriously; it is quite a powerful method of how to stop complaining about life. You will need to make two lists:
Write on one sheet of paper what is not in your life and you would not like to have it. For example: “I have no war (problems with the law, natural disasters, serious diseases, mental disorders, etc.)” The longer the list is, the better. Gradually, you will feel that everything is not so bad. To complain in such a situation is just to make God angry.
On the second sheet, list what you have in life is good. For example: “I have: where to live, what to eat, what to wear, where to work …” Gradually, you can add a number of points. It is not necessary to make both lists in one day, allocate enough free time for each of them. Hang both sheets at home, and when there is a desire to complain, re-read it. Perhaps you will stop whining and feeling sorry for yourself even before you read to the end.
Rules for a happy life
Many philosophers and mystics tried to invent the formula of happiness. While deep conversion may take years, there are scientifically proven techniques that boost mood very quickly. If you practice such actions regularly, they become a kind of happiness inoculation that helps to stop complaining about life.
We present five techniques that you can practice right now to experience the joy of being.
Everybody is dancing
In 2005, scientists from the University of Chicago and the University of Minnesota demonstrated the positive effects of aerobic exercise. The conclusion was made on the basis of an analysis of 158 different studies conducted between 1979 and 2005. The result was especially noticeable when someone started training, feeling in a bad mood. In other words, rhythmic gymnastics and dancing improve the mood when a person needs it most.
In a more recent study, scientists from the Swedish University of Halmstad found that aerobic exercise helps in the treatment of mild and moderate depression. Our body and mind are inseparable. When the physical shell is in an elevated tone, the body begins to produce the hormones of happiness, and the person stops being sad and whining.
Call a friend
Warm friendly communication is a powerful tool for gaining a happy attitude. Talking with a friend enhances positive energy and develops motivation. In fact, belonging to a social group or a trusting relationship with a loved one creates a long and significant incentive.
If you have people you love and appreciate, ask them to meet and talk heart to heart. Try instead of complaining and whining, just ask for good advice. If you can’t meet soon, just pick up the phone and say hello.
Write down 3 things you are grateful for.
It has been shown that daily recognition of your good fortune by identifying “three good things” has an immediate effect on the feeling of happiness. In a study published in 2012, psychologists Steven Schueller and Acacia Parks tested this strategy online and found that the effect of gratitude lasts up to six months. Increasing the enjoyment of life for six months instead of just five minutes of recordings per day is undoubtedly a good deal.
Make a favorable outlook for the near future.
Presenting the best possible development of events makes a person more cheerful. Thinking about tomorrow, you should not just stop complaining, but “pretend” to be an optimist. For pessimists, our world is a random set of events that it is prone to criticize. On the other hand, optimists believe that they control what is happening. In a sense, cheerful mood attracts luck.
Thinking about a bright future is a programmable prophecy. Spend a few minutes to imagine an optimistic forecast of your life for the coming months or years. You will be surprised to find out how bright the future can be.
Set intention for the day
One of the most authoritative and proven models of psychological well-being was proposed by Carol Raiff of the University of Wisconsin. Daily planning puts you in the driver’s seat, who makes informed decisions, rather than whining and complaining. It may not be possible all the time to achieve our plans, but simply knowing what you intend to achieve will give a sense of purpose and the ability to harmonize relations with the world.
Summing up
It does not matter how much time you spend on becoming a baking-book into a positive person. If you succeed at least once sincerely smile at the mournful faces of colleagues, then the patient in your face is more alive than dead. Inspire with the achieved success and continue the course until full recovery.
